Wolf's Daily Howl

[CreativeWoman]

Hi Ilene and everyone!

Happy new year! It's good to be back on here. My kids and I spent over a week during Christmas in NJ with my aunt and uncle, and have been slowly "recovering" from the visit...
I see a lot has been going on around here, and I'm really glad to reconnect again.

Ilene, I saw those programs on PBS too--they were great! I found particularly interesting the study of stress within members of baboon societies in the wild, and the insight on stress within human society that was obtained. The dominant, controlling male baboons had the LEAST stress (consequently, less chronic harmful cortisol levels), and the females and more subordinate males had the MOST stress...in one society, the dominant agressive males were all killed off by eating meat tainted with tuberculosis, and the females and the "nice guy" males THRIVED afterward. The whole community of baboons became less aggressive and competitive, and there was not only more community and cooperation, but a whole lot less stress among the baboons. When new adolescent male baboons would join their community they'd try to dominate and bully the others...and would quickly learn that the bullying behavior would not be tolerated--the new baboon would adapt and learn to live peacefully among them. I wish humans could learn this from baboons---just think of the dramatic changes possible if human society could adapt in this way!!!!!!

Well, I"m off to practice self care...going to the chiropractor, and then the Y to exercise and study for my RN boards while on the exercise bike. This evening, a dear friend and I are going out to eat and to a local coffeehouse for some great acoustic music. She's going through a divorce, sadly, so this will be good for her too.

I want to add, WELCOME to new members! I'm looking forward to catching up with them, as well as the regulars.

[IleneW]

Some Howls are for the community.

This Howl's for me.

A couple weeks ago, just after Christmas, I mentioned that I had to do something in my own life around establishing an important boundary with someone close to me. I did that day what I set out to do, and as it played out at the time, it seemed to have been successful.

Yesterday I found that the success I'd perceived had actually been an illusion.

So today, I have to dive head first into the situation and do the hard work that needs to be done.

This is someone I've known for five years and had become fond of. But in recent months, I've begun to feel exploited.

I have to end that now. A couple week's ago, I kind of tiptoed around the brutal truths, and that's probably why I wasn't successful. Today I have to tend to this, definitively. It's going to hurt us both. It has to happen.

Send me prayers of strength and more strength.

[bird80]

I send much strength your way. Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is the right thing to do : )

[IleneW]

Greetings Gentlefolk -----

In the work I do, I'm always looking for analogies to make what's happening emotionally, more visible.

When an abusive relationship is relatively young, getting out is like being in a pit of quick sand. Getting out is hard, really hard. You need a lot of resources to be ripping you out against the sucking pit, pulling you back. To get out of a pit of quicksand requires a huge amount of determination and help.

When an abusive relationship is decades long, getting out is more like being trapped under a collapsed building. You need rescue workers to come in and pull stuff off you. Some beams may just be too heavy to move and to survive, a limb may have to be amputated and left under the beam, just to get the trapped person out so s/he can go on and not die there in the rubble.

Or alternatively, leaving an abusive relationship may be like having to treat advancing cancer. There's radiation, chemotherapy and surgery. They're all awful. They all exact a cost ----- pain, vomiting, losing our hair, losing our energy, losing pieces of our body. But they're all absolutely necessary if we're to survive.

Escaping an abusive relationship is never easy. There are many, many reasons why getting out is so hard. Often, even after getting out, life isn't thoroughly better. There may be lots of serious problems. But, there's usually one less problem.

Escaping takes resolve.
Escaping takes courage.
Escaping takes strength.
Escaping takes focus.
Escaping takes commitment.
Escaping takes resources.
Escaping takes self-worth.

Love and strength and self-regard to all wrestling with getting away.

[IleneW]

I've stayed away from this topic over the last few days, because of the enormity of the pain and loss.

An earthquake devastated one of the poorest countries on earth ----- Haiti.

As of this morning, reports of the tally of casualties range from 50,000 to a projected 200,000.

And remember, this is a tiny country on part of a little island.

The reason I focus my day-to-day efforts on working one-to-one is that when I try and contemplate numbers of dead and dying in the hundreds of thousands, my energy grinds to a stop. My sorrow can't comprehend the volume contained in this many zeros.

I don't have the means to send chunks of cash to Haiti, or to get on a plane and go myself. But my thoughts and prayers go to the surivors trying to pull the pieces of their lives together from the devastation.

Do what you can. If you can't go or send money or goods, then send them loving thoughts.


==================


Now, on the opposite end of the spectrum, I have been a supporter of women's equality and female empowerment from the time I was a very young woman. Though I was a bit of a skater and a dancer, sports weren't really my area of strength. I came to enjoy tennis and twenty years ago, I began watching college basketball.

It was in my own college days, that legislation was passed which mandated the equalization of athletic opportunity in colleges, for young women.

Fifteen years ago, the women's basketball team of one of the Connecticut colleges began to emerge as a national contender. The rise of the women Huskies from the University of Connecticut, (they're NOT the "Lady" Huskies, as if the men's team were the genuine Huskies and the women's team was the "adjunct) --- shot to the top, earning the NCAA Division A Championship by never losing a single game the season of 1994 - 1995. Since that time, this team has won the Championship title five more times and is working on a seventh.

Today, ESPN is doing something for the very first time ever. They are spending the entire day, an event they call "Game Day," on the campus of the site of a special game ---- a WOMEN'S game.

It happens to be my favorite team of all time, but even if it weren't "my" team, I'd be celebrating this development.

You may ask: What's the big dea? It's only sports.

Sports, athletics, fitness, strength, physical potency, the economics of athletics, complete opportunity, holistic well-being, women networking in all areas of life ------- these are a few of the reasons why sports and women in sports is an important topic and an important advancement.

I began my Howl with a wail of pain and sorrow.

I'd like to end it with a rally Howl ----- a call for women to draw upon their emotional and physical strength, a call for men and women alike to celebrate the emotional and physical prowess of girls and women, a call for women and men alike to bring strength to the table to support and grow and close gaps in opportunity and build bridges between the genders, between colleges, between countries, between generations, to join in unity and victory in conquests over poverty, bigotry, sadness, disease, destruction, ignorance and abuse.

Go HUSKIES!!!!!!!

[IleneW]

In a world far too abundant with bigotry and abuse, enlightened souls step up.

I won't attempt to list the famous ones here, because beyond the famous there have always been others working way, quietly.

But because of a history in the U.S. of legally sanctioned enslavement, one of those enlightened souls stands out in his Ghandi-inspired fight to bring equality and harmony to a nation divided.

I'm old enough to remember a time when there were those who opposed the authorization of making the birthday of a man of color, a national holiday.

Happily, those bigotted and regressive voices were outnumbered.

No matter where you are in the world, no matter if you're working or have today off with pay ----- please take a moment to reflect and pay respect to Dr. Martin Luther King.

He fought against the echoes of that disspcable enslavement. He fought for equality for all in every state of the U.S. He fought for every person's entitlement to respect, the vote, a drink from a water fountain, a seat at an integrated lunch counter, any seat on any bus.

He fought, he died. And here we are.

A bit more equal, a bit more evolved, a little bit more enlightened.

Be well all. Fight for your own equality, your own entitlement and your own quality life.

Take care and stay stuck together.

Ilene

[loveslife]

Be well all. Fight for your own equality, your own entitlement and your own quality life.

I think we honor all those who have fought so hard for equality by being good to ourselves, honoring ourselves. As we all know, equality isn't just about color of skin or gender. It's about knowing your worth. Period.

[Shen]

I feel as if I've been fighting my whole life.
I'm done fighting.

[IleneW]

Hello Community.

I'm here.

I'm tired.

I'll be back.

[CreativeWoman]

wow Ilene, that was quite profound today!