What's your take on this?

[CreativeWoman]

Ilene,

Thank you so much for your encouragement and support. I've been feeling just awful this afternoon and evening, but feeling better late tonight.

I've got a place to move to, thankfully!!!!!! My church has a house next to it that would normally be where the minister would live, but our pastor has his own house and so they've been renting out the house for years. A couple weeks ago it was mentioned that the church is looking for a new tenant, and a bunch of us took a look at the house after church one afternoon...it's nice, with 3 bedrooms and it's a good layout.

Anyway, I called my pastor this evening and it turns out that I will be renting the house!

It's got 3 bedrooms, a good yard, allows pets (so now I can take my cat Alex in to live with me again!!!!) and it will work for us.

This is a HUGE relief. I'm still bummed out we have to up and leave "our home" here now, concerned about my son's adjustment, and I loathe actually moving...but it will all be ok in the long run.

I've been wanting to find a good loving home for my cat, and have been lifting my feline boy up in prayer...I suppose maybe this specific situation is the answer to prayers lifted up for my sweet cat.

[IleneW]

YYYYYyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[CreativeWoman]

I've just GOT to write something... I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the big things going on in my life right now. I don't want anyone to "feel sorry" for me, just to clarify...I just need to sort things out for my own mind and maybe lean on y'all for some support...

Just thinking last evening, that a bunch of issues I'm dealing with right now are actually quite big issues. Individually, each one would be hard, but together??? I suppose it's perfectly natural and normal for me to be feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all. I do know that I"ll get through all of this--God's with me, and I trust that it will all work out. Still, it's a bit tough right now.

So many issues at once!

1. need to move in several weeks
2. my "living" money is dwindling--getting a little nervous about $$
3. NCLEX RN test to do soon, then begin a career
4. A calculation blunder--->so far >$200 fees from bank in overdrafts this week--so preoccupied
5 My son's behavior/psych issues cause trouble and take a toll on me
6. the ex wants to get passports for my kids ASAP, I'm opposing it
7. My precious, much-loved cat has major health issues--might be terminal
8. My 7yo son started small-dose antidepressants today having been acting suicidal this past week

No wonder I'm feeling so tired and feeling overwhelmed with things...this is actually a whole LOT to handle all at once.

Last Friday, I got called in to the school because they were having a crisis with my son (age 7). He had been aggressive toward other kids (again) and then told a teacher that he wants to die, that he "tries to kill himself every morning." Of course the 211 emergency psych service was called, the school special ed teacher, the school psychologist, my ex, and I were called, and we had an urgent meeting at school to address it. [later in the day my son said to me, "Mom, remember that meeting we had today at school? Wasn't it FUN?!!!"] ....ARGH!!!!!!

I spoke to the child psychiatrist yesterday, and we're going to continue with the ADHD mecication, and add a small-dose antidepressant, which we started this morning. I'm praying this will give him some relief and help him cope better. It's heartbreaking to see my son suffering this way and also causing all sorts of problems at home, at school, with the friends he still has left, and I'm pretty concerned about him.

Here's an update I sent to some friends/family this a.m regarding my sweet cat: (this is the cat who stayed with my ex since the divorce last year)
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Yesterday I took Alex to the vet and had the big lump on his back examined. The vet is highly suspicious of sarcoma, a kind of cancer. (Only a biopsy will confirm if it is or is not) The dr suspects it would be a vaccine-site-induced tumor. He also found a small growth on his thyroid gland. We drew some blood during the visit, in order to check his liver, thyroid, kidneys, etc. Alex spent the night there, and we have the biopsy planned for this morning as long as the bloodwork was ok with all those function tests.

The vet just called me with an update: The bloodwork was good for function of thyroid, kidneys and liver. However, Alex is now diabetic! He will need insulin injections every day. With his history since January of the thirst, weight loss, and "tacky" feeling coat, this makes some sense.

The other vet and he discussed the rabies vaccinations, and they realized the rabies vaccine Alex got last year was in his right rear leg; any sarcoma between his shoulder blades would be from a vaccine long ago, or it will hopefully be something else that's benign. (I HOPE!)

They're going to proceed with the biopsy this morning, and I will be calling them this afternoon to check on how he's doing. Please keep Alex in your prayers, that this will be found to be something benign and treatable, so that he has a chance to live a content and happy life for maybe another 10 years...
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This rarely happens with me, but this morning I had absolutely NO motivation to even get out of bed...I wanted to shut my eyes and go back to sleep and not get up at all today, with things being so much of a challenge lately. I did not WANT to get out of bed, but I did. I suppose that feeling is also pretty normal for a person who's got so much on his/her plate...

I think I'm holding up ok, just need to cut myself some slack with housekeeping, learn from and overlook the bank overdraft blunder, and just do my best to keep up with the rest. If anything ELSE comes at me I certainly hope I can handle it. I'll get through, though--I always have, SO far!

If anyone is inclined to pray, I'd be really appreciative of prayer for my son and my cat.
THANKS!

[IleneW]

CW -----

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

How's kitty and son?

The good news, is you've made it this far.

The bad news is you have a lot on your plate.

Please keep us in the loop. I hope you'll find the strength you need.
Actually, I know you will.

Much love to you.

[CreativeWoman]

Ilene, that was a most empowering and encouraging message--thank you so much for your support!

My son is not having any adverse effects from the antidepressants, but it's only day 2...so we'll keep waiting to see the positive effect.

I have an update on Alex:
I just spoke with the vet a little bit ago. He said Alex's fasting blood sugar this morning was in the 300's, and he had a unit of insulin. After eating breakfast, his sugar was still in the 300's. (cats run higher than people, btw) They want to keep evaluating and tweaking the insulin, so he'll stay one more night at the vet.

Also, in the place where he took the biopsy, there was a small incision he made; he said it has drained some "very weird" stuff, and has flattened quite a bit. This sounds very promising!!!! From what they've seen, and what I was able to give them of Alex's history, they are hoping it's just some sort of inflammatory response that created the lump! Perhaps an infection, a cyst, etc. We will not know for sure until the biopsy results come back, so we still have to wait another couple days before we know. After that, X-rays likely will be taken in order to find either a spread of cancer, OR to check for a foreign body that could be causing what is hopefully only an inflammatory response.

Of course, he will be discharged on insulin injections, regardless of the lump diagnosis.


So that's the update on what's going on. I spoke yesterday with a guy I know at my bank about straightening out the checking account amount and wiping out the overdraft charges...he doesn't have authority to remove them, but will speak to the manager and I know he will do what he can to help--he's a nice person and I'm thankful he's trying to help. That will be a relief!

It's funny, even with all these things going on and feeling overwhelmed...I'm happy and have hope. I'm hanging in there, and I know it will all be ok. Thanks again for the support, guys!

[CreativeWoman]

I just got a call from the vet this evening. The biopsy results are in, and it's cancer. Alex has a lymphosarcoma... there's not much they can do for him to recover from it. He took an x-ray right after we talked and his lungs are clear--the cancer has not spread, as far as he could see on the x-ray. The two vets will talk tomorrow about the chance of removing the cancer and getting a clean border around it, but most likely it will be a very poor prognosis as is usually the case with this kind of cancer.

I'm so sad, so incredibly sad...I love my boy, and I feel utterly heartbroken.

I just talked with the couple I rent from and asked them to make a special exception for me to bring my cat here to my house, so he can live out his last several weeks peacefully with me...they agreed, as long as he stays in the mudroom. So I'm going to blow up an airbed and stay out there in the mudroom too...I need to do this. I won't let him suffer, and right now he seems quite comfortable. I'll watch closely and if he seems uncomfortable or in any pain at all, I'll take him in and comfort him as he slips off to "sleep" with the help of the vet. I feel so heartbroken...he's a cat, but he's my precious boy and I love him dearly. I feel so sad.

[IleneW]

Hey CW -----

I know cat-love. I totally do.

So, so sorry the news isn't good.

Glad you got the waiver to keep him with you in the months so come.

[CreativeWoman]

Thank you for your support Ilene.

My boy is home with me now. I prepared the mudroom for him, with a shiny new litter box, fuzzy warm cat bed (inside a cardboard box--he loves cardboard boxes!) and all the stuff he'll need. He is adjusting to his new digs, and seems relatively content with the mudroom. He seems curious as to what's in the rest of the house, though.

There's my airbed in there--I'm bunking with my cat tonight out there, just to make sure it stays warm enough. With all the windows I'm sure we'll be waking up at the crack of dawn, lol. I put the glider chair in there that I used to rock and nurse my human children with, so I can sit comfortably when I spend time with him. He was purring before, and enjoying a good neck/ear/chin scratch...he's pretty content.

My ex brought over the scratching post we built for him when he and my other cat were kittens, so he'll have something familiar (besides me and the kids, of course!) so I think he'll enjoy that.

I'm holding up ok. I shed some tears now and then, but I'm doing ok. I feel like I'm doing the right thing, so that just feels right.

Won't even get into what I think of the ex's neglect of Alex...don't want to waste energy even being mad at him right now. It's heartbreaking, and that's enough to deal with for me at the moment. I do find it dispicable, I will say. I paid a hefty vet bill today. Also today, I received an email from the ex informing me of his next trip to England, May 21-31. Claimed he didn't have the money to take Alex to the vet, but that he would when he had the money...some people just don't GET it... Clearly, it isn't fair for my cat to have to suffer, due to the ex's issues, but that's how the ex lives his life..."it's all about ME," while his (now ex-)wife, children and cats suffer by what he has done and still does. That's all I'm going to say about him now, though, as I want to focus all of my energy on the GOOD things in my life. I'm focusing on my kids, myself, my 2 precious cats, and on living life the RIGHT way.

Maybe later this evening I'll re-acquaint the cats with each other...have to see how they handle being around each other once again. I'm thankful that my kids, cats, and I will now all be under the same roof again, well, not counting that the kids are with their father this weekend. I'm going to lay low and rest from all the emotional struggles of the week, and hopefully exercise as well as eat right. Tomorrow night I'll be spending some time with 2 of my girl-friends, maybe out to dinner or watching a movie. Normalcy will feel good.

[CreativeWoman]

My son is 7 & 1/2 and is now on his second week of zoloft, an antidepressant.

Just a few minutes ago as I was putting him to bed, he threatened to attack me with a baseball bat someday, and also told me that he was going to get a knife and stab me with it, and cut me into two.

Where do I even begin, to cope with this crap?

[Shen]

My heart goes out to you. I read about the cat and about your son... I can't even imagine what one could say to a child with so much anger and distrust. I can only send you love and support. I'm thinking about you.
I think you already have him in therapy, right? What does his counselor say?
Keep safe. Hold that boy, if he'll let you. Tell him that you'll love him, no matter what. The rest is up to God.